How Dare You, God? Sarcastic Profiles and Critical Prayers (Buy my book)

I use SARCASM and humor to discuss Christianity and the Bible.
First, imaginary experts describe the divine brand, each from their own perspective.

Second, imaginary people introduce themselves and reveal their thoughts without any sugar-coating:

The HEROES OF FAITH are struggling with their problems and trying to do their best to follow their god's will according to their own interpretations.
The CHALLENGERS OF FAITH are wondering about god's intentions, and they eventually break free from the yoke of faith.

Third, the prayers are also divided into two groups. In each group, people talk to god with hilarious boldness and radical conclusions:

The FAITHFUL FANATICS are trying to pray humbly, even though they do not always understand the purposes of their god.
The CRITICAL DOUBTERS present harsh criticism against god.

FROM READERS:

"This is excellent, absolutely hilarious text. I read it nonstop and was howling with laughter alone here at night. Probably I woke up the neighbors. You have certainly surpassed yourself with this work."

"The book proceeds logically in content and structure. The work is like the growth story of a cautious questioner into a categorically arguing religious critic."

From Calvary to Gambrini (Buy my book)

This is a true story of my journey from Calvary to Gambrini, as I remember it from the 1970s and 1980s.

Because I was bullied at school and I often felt very lonely, I needed an imaginary friend. At the age of fifteen, I publicly confessed my faith. I had found the suffering and bleeding Christ crucified on the hill of Calvary. He loved me and managed to save me from my loneliness. I made new dear friends, and life was more exciting. Faith guided my choices in life.

From Calvary, I traveled a long way to Gay Gambrini. I opened its door at the age of 31. For sixteen years, I had denied myself and carried my cross. Now, being myself, I started a new life. I found a new kind of love, and many of my friends changed. What should I think about religion now?

From the reader: "Vivid text and relentless humor. A ruthlessly honest investigation on searching and finding oneself. Never bitter, but, even when criticizing, with a gentle twinkle in the eye. An in-depth and touching journey of life. Thank you for the honor of having been able to take part in your journey and now being included in this story."

Thank You, Jesus! (Warning: sarcasm included)

Thank you, Jesus, for being born
So that we can honk the horn
And tell the people what is right
What is black and what is white

Thank you for forgiving us
And thank you for giving us
The wisdom of human categorisation
According to religious affiliation

Thank you for your virgin birth
As the Son of the Father on this manly earth
For wearing the crown of the male gender
So that the female may surrender

Thank you for coming to our salvation
Keeping us away from the abomination
Of accepting the gays and lesbians
And all kinds of gender freaks and barbarians

Thank you for your human birth
And making us your chosen ones on earth
For your forgiveness we always pray
We blame the people for their sinful way

Thank you, Jesus, for being born
And kindly choosing to die and mourn
So that we can lick your wounds
While the others go to hell from their tombs

Thank you, Jesus!

Imaginary Creatures

These imaginary creatures
Have quite friendly features
They may be fictive
And quite addictive
But not bloodthirsty or vindictive

Visible Imaginary

Now you can test
If your imaginary friends are the best
You can see them with your own eyes
They don't hide behind the skies

Easter Hoax

Dearly beloved folks
Have a happy week of the Easter hoax

Salvation from Wrath

The Christian Message of Christmas:

I created you, yes I did
Too bad, you're full of shit
So I had Jesus born and killed
To save you from the hell I created
But if you won't believe it
I just can't and won't save you
Although I love you

By the way
I would like to say
Goddess Isis bore Horus on Christmas Day
Long before the other virgin
Produced a solution to our sin
So that a new religion would win

I Don't Believe

I don't adore
Cthulhu, Zeus or Thor
I don't pray to Afrodite
She's not really right

I don't believe in Spiderman
Or the god of Abraham
I don't trust in fairy-tale creatures
With their fancy far-fetched features

There is no kind of evidence
Of their existence
No-one ever proved them real
Wishful thinking is surreal

It is not necessary
To trust the imaginary
Even if you can't really prove wrong
A five-wing elf bird with a thong

I'm pretty proud to say
I have no kind of faith
In any cults, called religions
Or in their cool or cruel convictions

Religious Freedom

Religious freedom

Religion Is Control

Religion's role

Is control

It's child abuse

No excuse

Religion is pain

Without gain

All in vain

That's what I'm sayin'

Religion

Religion in deed

Fantasy indeed

Reality is near

The biggest fear

The time has finally come for me to say:

I am sorry, World and everyone involved, for imposing my immature religious beliefs on you when I was young. I sincerely apologize.

I and maybe you were victims of religion. The irony of it is that something extremely precious also came out of it.

Still, twenty-nine years after the end of that period, I am finalising my healing process, which you may see in my messages that I am posting to rethink religion.

Thank you and all the best!